cutting ties

You know whats funny? I actually believe you care about me. I genuinely think that somewhere, deep down, you do care and thats why you’re doing this – because you can’t let me go.

Maybe you need to let me go.

To me you are the world, and all it encompasses; everything good and kind and true; but to you I’m a second choice. I’m just someone to pass the time while she isn’t there. I’m someone to listen when she wont. I’m someone to hold when she doesn’t want your touch.

The sad thing is, is that I know this. I know all of this and yet, I still choose to believe that there is something inside of you that wants me more. I know it’s fucked up, and I shouldn’t want you because you have her and she has you but I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me before I got sucked in too deep because now the water is filling my lungs and I can’t breathe because all the air has gone and been replaced with the words you spit down my throat. I’m drowning and you’re stood there watching me, because you’re too afraid to get in the water.

Please let me go.

You say you can open up to me when you struggle to open up to others. You say we get on like you’ve never gotten on with a girl before, that I’m different and that you wouldn’t want to see me with anyone else – and I lap it up. I feed off the small touches and affectionate names you call me, and the fact you make me laugh and forget about all the bad in the world. But then I go home, and I realise you’re with her and she’s marked you, right on your jaw and now every time I look over at you recently, all I can see is remnants of her. You’re hers, not mine, but you know whats funny?

I care about you too much to let you go, I want to see you prosper with her and enjoy yourself because I see sadness in your eyes, and I hope to God that she makes you forget about all the bad, just like you do to me.

I need to let you go.

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